Sunday, June 20, 2010

Short Story update

I'm having one of those days where I have no idea what to blog about. Does anyone out there ever have that problem?
But I've committed to blogging every Monday and so I shall.

Firstly, I want to say a big thank you to Roland D. Yeoman who left some great advice in the comments section of my last post.

I agree that my story needs to start with a decent hook. I have completed my first draft and am happy with my initial workings, although I'm not sure about the intro. It intrigued my friend, but will it be enough to hook the judges?

In an effort to make this story the best it can be, I am going to post my first paragraph and see what you guys think.
Any feedback is most welcome.

At this stage, I'm wondering if the hook is strong enough or whether I need to reorder my story, start with the end and circle back around. My only hesitation with doing that, is it might spoil the twist at the end.

Anyway - enough chat from me.
Here's the first paragraph. Is it enough to make you want more?

(At this stage the story is called Dear Eric, but I'm not sold on the title yet)


DEAR ERIC

Dear Eric,

Mrs Kemp wants us to keep diaries for the rest of the term, something about writing freestyle. We don’t have to hand them in, it’s just practice. I think diaries are a dumb idea. I’d rather direct my thoughts to a person.

I’ve chosen you.

Truth is, I really like you, but I’ll never have the courage to tell you. If school were a movie set, you would be Robert Pattinson and I would be an uncredited extra.

To you I’m invisible, which is why you will never read these letters, because if you knew how I felt about you, I’d die of shame.

1 comment:

  1. I found your blog over at Melissa (Through the looking glass). Nice to meet you :)

    I loved the letter to Eric, I love the segway into why you have to write the letter. I can also relate to having a crush who doesn't notice you. I can tell she is shy and intellegent which are great qualities. I'd definitely keep reading! I'm guessing this is a YA story, if so I'm feeling it!

    Oh and reading your about me I am the same way, I didn't start writing until I turned 23, wrote my first real story and now can't get enough of it all! I started a blog in February to help myself along!

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